Salon: My nightclub horror story: The eternal humiliation of getting into America's "hottest" clubs

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July 17th, 2014 My nightclub horror story: The eternal humiliation of getting into America's "hottest" clubs Hayley Krischer A nightclub promoter recently told a woman: "No whales or hippos" allowed. Business as usual Fox News pundits seize on Ukraine disaster to blame Obama, Putin Sarah Gray Geraldo Rivera and Todd Starnes spout nonsense about the tragedy VIDEO Here's what we know about today's Ukraine disaster Peter Leonard and MSTYSLAV CHERNOV, The Associated Press The Ukrainian government and pro-Russian separatists have both denied responsibility for the crash Right-wing radicals' sick victory lap: What's really happening to kids in Oracle? Joan Walsh Protesters say they stopped the transfer of Central American kids. The local fire chief says they're still coming Good-bye, Elaine Stritch: Why every fan should watch her "30 Rock" episodes Daniel D'Addario The stage icon reinvented herself as an uproarious onscreen mother with a mean streak Almond milk is kind of a scam Lindsay Abrams The popular dairy alternative doesn't deserve the love it's getting, Mother Jones argues Volunteer villain: How Ted Cruz's hard-line immigration stance helps Democrats Simon Maloy Ted Cruz becomes the face of anti-immigrant sentiment at the precise moment Democrats needed a political foil Strippers sue San Diego police over nude "regulatory" photos Jenny Kutner During a routine inspection, cops allegedly abused 30 women while forcing them to physically expose themselves Border demagogues outdo themselves: Inside the "$50 Million Illegal Alien Resort Spa" myth Jim Newell Conservative media went completely bonkers this week over a charity trying to buy a dumpy hotel to house kids "Weird Al" Yankovic perfectly parodies Iggy Azalea's "Fancy" Sarah Gray Yes, that is "Weird Al" in a blond wig... VIDEO I watched the ESPY Awards and hated it: Last night's bizarre carnival of straight maleness Daniel D'Addario ESPN's manstravganza featured Drake as emcee and Chris Brown calling himself "America's Sweetheart." No thanks! 6 celebrity Twitter accounts that follow exactly one person Prachi Gupta Conan, Colbert and Kid Cudi are just a few of the famous people who only read the tweets of one other human Report: Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 shot down near Russia-Ukraine border Salon Staff 295 people were reportedly killed How to get an abortion in Texas Jenny Kutner A chilling photo essay reveals the aftermath of the state's extreme anti-choice laws GOP candidate wants to open up drilling in Yellowstone National Park Lindsay Abrams Gubernatorial candidate Taylor Haynes wants to take back Wyoming's federal lands and start handing out leases Bowe Bergdahl thanks Obama for "saving his life" Elias Isquith The former POW is grateful that the president ignored conservatives who demanded he be abandoned and left to die A barf bag got me a book deal: A mom offers up her questionable parenting advice Mary Elizabeth Williams Johanna Stein talks babies, bodily functions and why she swore she'd never let her daughter wear pink Lucy Flores doesn't regret her abortion — and she doesn't regret talking about it Jenny Kutner The Nevada assemblywoman underscored the importance and necessity of her candid advocacy on HuffPost Live VIDEO FDA discovers hundreds of vials of infectious agents it forgot it had Lindsay Abrams Whoops. Todd Akin: I only said "legitimate rape" because it's an abbreviation and I'm a busy guy! Katie McDonough Major scoop: "'Legitimate rape' is a law enforcement term, and it's an abbreviation for 'legitimate case of rape'" follow salon Most Read Iggy Azalea's post-racial mess: America's oldest race tale, remixed I'm sorry for coining the phrase "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" Scalia's major screw-up: How SCOTUS just gave liberals a huge gift From wet T-shirts to oral sex contests: A brief history of sexploitative party games "Weird Al" shares "Word Crimes," an inventive parody of Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" I was poor, but a GOP die-hard: How I finally left the politics of shame "Weird Al" releases first of 8 new videos: "Tacky," a parody of Pharrell's hit "Happy" Fat-shaming women is unhelpful, insensitive and downright sad Michelle Rhee's minions meet their match: New anti-charter group declares war Darrell Issa's postal embarrassment: Momentum builds for cheap banking option I made my husband try a sex robot Must-see morning clip: Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart destroy the Hobby Lobby decision Nestlé is bottling water straight from the heart of California's drought Texas GOP's secret anti-Hispanic plot: Smoking gun emails revealed The day I left my son in the car Help | Advertising Information Copyright ©2014 Salon Media Group, Inc. Reproduction of material from any Salon pages without written permission is strictly prohibited. SALON© is registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office as a trademark of Salon Media Group Inc.

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